| Rank | Team | Captains | Record | Pt. Diff. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st | No Melon, No Lemon | 14-1 (.933) | +80 | |
| 2nd | Step On No Pets | 12-3 (.800) | +65 | |
| 3rd | Belphegor's Prime | 10-5 (.667) | +11 | |
| 4th | Aibohphobia | 6-9 (.400) | -26 | |
| 5th | Evil Olive | 6-9 (.400) | -21 | |
| 6th | Stanley Yelnats | 6-9 (.400) | -14 | |
| 7th | Drinks Well Llewks Nird | 4-11 (.267) | -38 | |
| 8th | Taco Cat | 2-13 (.133) | -57 |