| Rank | Team | Captains | Record | Pt. Diff. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st | Whiskey Slap | 12-1-3 (.750) | +71 | |
| 2nd | Communist Bananafesto | 11-3-2 (.688) | +47 | |
| 3rd | Wild Things | 10-5-1 (.625) | +44 | |
| 4th | Plinko | 9-5-2 (.562) | +3 | |
| 5th | Egyptian Cobra | 9-5-2 (.562) | +29 | |
| 6th | Cat Smashers | 8-5-3 (.500) | +2 | |
| 7th | Big Gulps | 7-6-3 (.438) | +9 | |
| 8th | Drinks Well with Others | 6-8-2 (.375) | -12 | |
| 9th | Oh No! | 4-12 (.250) | -61 | |
| 10th | Factual Burn | 3-11-2 (.188) | -49 | |
| 11th | Gratuitious Party | 3-11-2 (.188) | -38 | |
| 12th | Free Spyware | 3-13 (.188) | -45 |