| Rank | Team | Captains | Record | Pt. Diff. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1st | Big Gulps | 11-1 (.917) | +63 | |
| 2nd | Communist Bananifesto | 9-2 (.818) | +18 | |
| 3rd | Cry Babies | 9-3 (.750) | +26 | |
| 4th | Whiskey Slap | 8-4 (.667) | +32 | |
| 5th | Preferred Nomenclature | 8-4 (.667) | +22 | |
| 6th | Stapp Infection | 5-7 (.417) | -13 | |
| 7th | Drinks Well | 4-6 (.400) | -13 | |
| 8th | Talking Muffins | 3-7 (.300) | -26 | |
| 9th | Sugary Drank | 3-8 (.273) | -22 | |
| 10th | K-Pop Anonymous | 3-9 (.250) | -30 | |
| 11th | Minions | 2-8 (.200) | -27 | |
| 12th | Gratuitous Party IV | 2-8 (.200) | -30 |